My mom is adorable. She’s the best mom in the entire world, from my very unbiased opinion, and she makes the holidays amazing every single year of our lives. But….every Thanksgiving…she wears a shirt that is..not my favorite (she reads this, I’m treading carefully…). It’s become a running joke that she wears this same shirt every Thanksgiving, but it’s not something I fully support. While I’m all for tradition, should bad clothes ever be a tradition??!! Let me describe this gem of a top: (A) it’s denim. Yeah, I said that, denim. As if that isn’t enough, it is (B) covered with decorative PATCHES of various fall scenes. Yep, said that too. Decorative. Patches. Of. Fall. Scenes. I wish I was kidding, I don’t even know where she could have purchased this top, but man it’s something to behold. Now, only my mother could wear this and look cute, but it makes me think about the getups people wear for the holidays. Let’s discuss this people, because I would hate for you to be the person at your Christmas/Hanukkah/Thanksgiving table that everyone is laughing about on the ride home!
On the left, that’s my gorgeous Mama…in the shirt. Yep, patches and all.
Festive vs. Costume–Know the Difference
A red sweater on Christmas is totally festive. A pair of brown boots and tights on Thanksgiving is festive. Something sparkly on New Year’s Eve is festive. Candy cane striped tights and a Santa hat is a costume. A shirt with a turkey appliqued on it is a costume. Champagne and vomit all down the front of your New Year’s Eve dress is really just disgusting. There is a difference! I LOVE dressing up for holidays in inspired gear, and I LOVE the holidays more than most people (my tree’s been up for 3 weeks, no joke), but past the age of 6, overdoing the festivities by way of your clothing is not only inappropriate, it’s also just kind of weird. There are simple questions you can ask yourself if you’re wavering on an article of clothing: Would my 3-year-old niece and I be matching? Would a Christmas elf wear this same thing? Are people staring? Am I jingling while I walk? These should all be a resounding “No!” Dressing up is fun, dress-up is kinda creepy outside of a costume party. Know the line. A pilgrim outfit is weird, OK? It’s just weird. Put it away….and by “put it away” I obviously mean “throw it in the Grand Canyon”.
Heidi B., JennyP, and Buddy the Elf: guess which one of us is not in costume? I vote for your holiday you copy me, not them, unless you’re (A) at a costume party like Heidi or (B) actually an elf like Buddy.
Remember The Occasion
Without naming names, I once went to visit a friend on Thanksgiving night, long after turkey time, and honestly couldn’t stop staring at her sister-in-law. She was sitting there, maybe 32-ish, at the dinner table with her in-laws, in the teeny-tiniest-eensy-weensy orange mini-dress and TALL thigh high brown leather boots. I mean, REALLY???? What was she going for-Thanksgiving Hooker? Why on earth would “mini-dress” and “thigh-high” ever be words to describe an outfit worn to a family event??? She’s not the only one though, and it goes both ways. I have a male friend that shows up to family events in skinny jeans that show ALL of his boxers because they’re so low-rise and flat-ironed hair down in his eyes with short sleeves showing off his masses of tattoos. Again, REALLY?? Grandma doesn’t want to see that, and frankly neither do I! Is it so much to ask that on a holiday, everyone try to look appropriate? I really don’t think so.
While we’re goofy as all get out, my family is pretty good with the holiday outfits’ appropriate level.
Remember How Old You Are
I never understand what goes on when an otherwise normally cute 30-something family member shows up in some frumpy, long, denim jumper with a Christmas broach on it. Again, (say it with me) REALLY??? What is she going for-Youngest Christmas Grandma?? Or how about the lady I saw in the mall last year, probably about 45, in–no joke–bright green tights covered in jingle bells. What is going on here people? Simple rules to follow-decorative pins/broaches and jumpers are too old for anyone under 50. Pom-poms on shoes, jingle bells on skirts, and santa hats are too young for anyone over 12. An entire fur-trimmed red velvety mini-dress is too young for anyone over 6, I don’t care how hot Britney Spears looks in it, it’s not right outside of a themed photo-shoot.
Plaid matching dresses, large broach, elf dress, and kicky beret? All adorable….on babies and grandmas.
There is Still Fun in These Rules!
Dude, I’m not trying to take the fun out of holiday dressing. Here are things I love, love, LOVE to see on people around this time of year: frilly Christmas aprons, flashes of red and green, fun tights (in doses and moderation), Christmas sweaters, holiday ties, holiday cuff links, wacky holiday socks that peek out of serious pants when you sit down, Christmas dresses (as long as this doesn’t mean “covered in reindeer”), bits of sparkle, red lipstick, fall colors, a Christmas broach on grandmas, holiday earrings, a candy cane in a front pocket, and anything that looks like a little bit of holiday spilled over into your closet. These things are fun and make me super smiley when I see them!
All fun, all holiday, none weird. (Ps–How AMAZING is that apron????? I want!)
So go get dressed up! And Mom, I do kind of love your Thanksgiving shirt, because as wrong as it is, it looks like home and holidays to me. Thanks for making each and every holiday traditional, special, and exactly where I want to be each year. I love you, denim top and all! 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!