Dude….I’m sick. I am so sick! My lovely and darling KB had been sick last week, then we all went and shot the (beautiful!) wedding at the Four Seasons where I proceeded to drink her Sprite…repeatedly. Very shocking, then, to wake up Tuesday feeling kinda achy, and Wednesday full-blown ill, and yesterday I just shuffled around my house in a stuffy, gross fog. So I don’t have any amazing fashionista words today, but I don’t want to abandon you–so let’s talk sick fashion.
One minute I’m frozen, the next minute I’m sweating through my clothing. So as I type this, I am wearing tiny shorts covered by flannel pants, socks, and a t-shirt with an afghan around me. I look so good you guys. Aside from my incredible cuteness in this getup, I can remove the pants, sock, and blanket every 6th minute when my body goes from Arctic to Equator. Yep, not just a hat stand, people.
I don’t know why, but slippers, especially the really big fuzzy kind, make me feel healthier. They also invoke some sympathy from people you live with if you’re shuffling in your slippers while sniffling with a blanket around you, I mean, she’s sick people, tell her you’ll make her some soup. If I was dressed normal, and slipper-free, I’d get no sympathy.
A Really Pathetic Expression
This goes along with getting the sympathy: don’t walk around all smiling and happy, no one will get you water or bring you ibuprofen. You need to look like you did when Sex and the City ended, majorly upset and miserable. Combine this with the slippers and on one will even ask you to clean up your mountain of tissues.
Hair the Size of Mount Everest
I haven’t washed, or really brushed, my hair since Monday. It’s Friday. Again, this goes with the look, a sort of massive pile of knotted greasy hair that’s been rolled around on and dipped in the bathtub and sniffled all over. It gives me a really good, “I don’t care what you think, I don’t own a brush” look. It also keeps re-iterating to the people around me that I’m sick, and I cannot be bothered to do things like wash my hair, much less clean the kitchen!
I hope none of you are sick like me, but if you are, I hope this helped you out! I promise to have some good advice for you next week, but for now, I’m headed back to bed. If someone sees me up working, they’ll stop bringing me juice!